Wednesday, July 17, 2013


So, I have been living in Vienna for the past 2 months, and things are looking great.
I have found a perfect place to live, in an elite district, with the great surroundings and easy access, and near the place I babysit.

Wait, what?
Yupp, I am lucky enough to find a little job by babysitting a sweet 5-year-old for some time now.
Everybody who knows me would scream or laugh, because they know, I am not great with kids. I used to resent kids so much that I would just stare to those who make extremely loud noises or run around without any purpose.

I did find it difficult to connect with children, which is why I always avoid teaching children back then in Indonesia. I always find it hard to communicate with them, trying to get along or to talk with them, like there is a wall of bricks I cannot and I would not crash down. When I was finally trusted to teach some children, they are mostly over 8-years-old, which means they are mostly easier to communicate with, it is much easier to tell them what to do or not to do, and they are already capable of reasoning.

But 5-years-old? I never had such experience playing with one, moreover to taking care of one. But one of my best friends who used to be a Kindergarten teacher told me; always believe that you are capable, when you are dealing with kids. Not only it will make you feel better, but also it will somehow connects with the kid you are taking care of. Believe it or not; it is true.

The first few meetings were difficult, she talked to me, but mostly she will look away and want to play with a gadget, and never ask me to stay and play something with her. I was supposed to speak in English, but she always replies in German. And I said to myself, maybe this is not my kind of thing. Maybe I am just not right for this. Until she had chickenpox.

Her mother has no choice, she has to hire me because she has to work and the child has to stay at home. The main babysitter was not available at all. I was thinking to turn down this offer, but then I gave it a try. I need a job for summer, anyway.

I asked my friend, what to do, what to say, what will make this child comfortable having me around. Then after discussing for a while, we found out that children smell fear or negative feelings. So if I believe that I would not make her comfortable, she would feel uncomfortable. I have been wondering if her attitude affects me or the other way around. So then I came, trying to fill myself with all the positivity and smile and energy to take care of her for about 4 hours (which, for me, was a great deal of time).

And somehow, after we draw things and dance and eat and tell stories, she becomes so sweet. I was surprised that she wants to play with me all the days after, and even gives signs of affection toward me.

The crazy thing is, she also became my teacher. She patiently teaches me German, while I teach her English. She shows me how to be creative and focus on things that make us happy instead of wondering about people's minds. She teaches me about trust; she never lies to her mother and if we are about to eat something she would ask me to ask her mom, and if she tells me something from her mom, she would really appreciate if I do not ask her mom to confirm. She also teaches me to dance, one of the things I hate, we would dance (the dance is really ugly), just keep moving our bodies without any intention to be pretty, and forget about the rest of the world. She guides me patiently to enter her world, a world free from prejudice and fear that I constantly deal with for the last few years.

I am so grateful that in a few months I get to experience so much joy and affection from so many people, and have already learned so much.

I am so excited for the upcoming years to come! :)

me and the sweet child

Thursday, May 2, 2013

The Papers and Stuffs

Ok. So yesterday was a holiday, which means I cannot do anything unless sleeping and eating, basically. So there was a dinner invitation from my friend, and we ate the best duck noodle in town. And then we go to a place called MuseumsQuartier, which is the quarters of several big museums. But don’t think that it’s the kind of boring-museum-stuffs. It is actually a great and popular place to hang out, with great restaurant serving good selections of wine.

Today I was quite sure of what to do, since my friend told me where to go to process my state-registration and bank account. After the two are done, I can’t wait to turn my blackberry service on. I am dying to talk to my boyfriend! So I queued, talked with the service guy at Orange provider, and doing this and that and sign everywhere, suddenly he stopped. “I am sorry, your visa needs to be longer than six months.” Then he tore the papers, as to add more drama to it. (Wtf??)

I was quite confused, since I cannot do many things without any number. I thought I am going to another provider, but then it occured to me, that guy thinks I am only interested in Blackberry service. I am supposed to get a number even without the service. So I went to Orange again and ask for a number. That being done, I went to the Westbahnhof (West Station), which is like my ultimate place to find free wifi. Fortunately my WhatsApp works, so I ask my friends about the visa. So, after the registration at MA 15 (Anmeldung) and opening a bank account, I also have to process insurance at WGKK (it’s quite far) and then do another registration at MA 35 to have my student visa.

Enough with the boring paperwork. I am going to continue these stuffs tomorrow. The most important thing for me now is to deal with my study schedule, which I have not get, and get the clear information about how the hell am I going to begin studying at the end of a semester. So I decided to go home, have lunch, and wait for the secretariat to open.

Oh, one funny thing. So my room is in an apartment consists of 5 girls. One of them is the head of the house, who has been telling me all the rules (and managed to have a new rule everytime I pass her by). Another one beside my room is a cute Vietnamese girl. She cannot speak English, and cannot speak German. Right. So she brings her iPhone and communicate with Google Translate all the time. But she has been so nice, she asked me if I need anything, she is willing to help, because it was really hard for her the first time. Today she’s going to IKEA and ask me if I need to buy something and want to go together. I cannot, but then she gave me her internet-USB so I can use her internet while she was away. Great, isn’t it? Well....not really. Because I ask for the pin number and she gave me the wrong one, and now she’s away. And my stupid-self forgot to ask for her phone number, so I have this powerful internet device beside me and not being able to use it. Okaaaay. But I think these days with her would be so interesting.

First Week in Vienna

So here I am.
I am finally sitting in a room above the music conservatory where I study, making myself comfortable considering I will stay here for a few months. Fortunately this is a holiday, so I can just sit and plan what I am going to do for the rest of the week. I still have to deal with the State Office, the bank, the insurance, and of course with the Conservatory. The first month would absolutely be the craziest month of all, I am sure. Because I have to deal with so much, not yet familiar with the streets and the U-Bahn, not yet good German. I am so thankful that the many people here can and want to speak English.

So after spending 2 nights of great fun in Dubai, with excessed baggage, I managed to escape paying for the baggage and flew to Vienna. The flight was delayed, but thankfully I arrived exactly on 5 PM, as I promised the person who got the key. After the exhausting stairs (while bringing my 33kgs of luggage plus a backpack), talked to a girl who apparently is the student head of the house, I got the key, and thankfully the person informed me that I got a single room. So I don’t have to share the room with someone I don’t know! Ok. The room was small but nice enough, 2x4 maybe, with a bed without pillow or sheet whatsoever, it has a long table, several chairs, and a shoe cupboard. No cupboard.

This apartment is actually a temporary apartment. The person said I can use it longer than 3 months, but I guess I am not going to stay here more than 3 months. There is no internet, no washing machine, though I kinda like the place and surely the location being the top of the conservatory is great. I can buy internet card for laptop, but there’s no way I can live washing my clothes by hand everyday. And for this kind of facility, it is quite expensive. The good thing is, I got the single room. I don’t have to share the room with a stranger, and it gives me some sort of peace. Well, I can cry anytime I want to. :p

It’s only the second day. I still miss my boyfriend an awful lot. I can’t wait for him to come here next month after his trip to Netherland. My friends back home gave me a USB contains a love-letter, wishing me for the best and all. I have my mom’s envelope with her wish written on it.

I am so thankful! So many people supporting me with any way they can. They really believe in me, they are really sure that I can be great. It is something I would keep in mind whenever I try to doubt myself. The road is steeple just because it’s going up. Ah, I would let the melancholy hits me for a while...I don’t think it would be this hard when I begin my study, make know, just really live here. I want to live here, not being here leaving my life in Jakarta. 

Monday, July 30, 2012


It's been a while...

Terlalu banyak yang harus diceritakan, terlalu banyak yang harus dilakukan...
But I'll try. :)

Seperti yang sudah saya ceritakan di post sebelumnya, perjalanan ke Eropa kali ini adalah "a closing of a chapter". Whatever the result is, I just want a dream to meet its answer.
As most of my life is, the journey is fulfilled with drama...

Setelah sekitar 14 jam perjalanan pesawat, plus penantian 4 jam di stasiun, saya naik kereta dari Vienna menuju Freiburg, Jerman.

Anyhow, long story short, i tried my best doing the audition in Freiburg.
Unfortunately, I failed. I know it wasn't good enough, but I was actually glad I tried.
Setelah seharian duduk nangis di bawah pohon, I decided to move on. I still have 2 more auditions to go; in Vienna and in Trossingen. If Freiburg is not the place for me, I should get over it soon.

Feeling a bit heartbroken, I took the train to Vienna and meet a well-known teacher immediately.
It was fast, it was fun, and the next thing I know...I AM ACCEPTED IN VIENNA CONSERVATORY.


after everything I have been through, it pays off.
But do I have all the reasons to be happy?
Not really.

You see, I do not have the money to be enrolled yet.
Jadi sekarang pilihannya adalah untuk mendapat beasiswa, sponsorship...atau...
Give it up.

We'll see.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

35 Hari Untuk Selamanya

Biarpun gue kelihatannya galak, gue itu sebetulnya mudah sekali menyerah.
Biasanya akan melakukan pembelaan; gini aja udah oke lah.

Maka di saat gue kembali mengungkapkan keinginan audisi untuk sekolah di Eropa lagi, banyak keluarga dan teman yang membelalak. Selain karena gue sebetulnya ga punya duitnya karena udah dialokasikan untuk beberapa musibah keluarga tahun lalu, juga karena banyak yang mengira gue udah memusnahkan mimpi itu sejak gue ke Jerman dua tahun yang lalu.

Pada saat itu, keadaan serba mendukung. Finansial aman, keluarga sehat, gue pun siap berangkat. Tapi kenyataannya, karena suara gue yang memiliki range dan batas suara atas-bawah yang unik, gue pun divonis harus berlatih ulang total sebagai sopran. Hal itu ga bisa instan, butuh waktu dan latihan yang tepat. Maklum, standar belajar musik klasik di Eropa itu luar biasa tinggi, jadi ga bisa asal masuk aja. Audisi dari 200-500 orang, bisa aja yang masuk di bawah 10 orang.

Pulang dari perjalanan itu, keluarga gue mengalami beberapa hal, yang membuat gue harus melupakan sejenak impian gue. Musibah menimpa kakak gue, dan tanpa jeda, nyokap gue. Gue sempet berpikir, apa gue terlalu egois untuk punya mimpi? Tapi namanya cita2, selama masih bisa dikejar, ya gue kejar. I am that kind of person who would push my luck. Dari kecil gue pengen belajar di luar negeri, dan berkombinasi dengan cinta gue pada musik yang terus bertambah...this is not something I can easily give up on. Dan melihat hasil kegilaan kakak gue yang tertua, yang sekarang karirnya luar biasa di bidang musik, gue cukup yakin, eventually it will pay off. This is worth it.

So here I am today. Menginjakkan kaki di benua Eropa kedua kalinya.
Dengan uang super pas2an, yang cuma cukup untuk selama gue audisi aja, gue mungkin terdengar sangat gila. Apalagi dengan pekerjaan yang gue punya di Jakarta. Orang bilang udah cukup buat gue settle.

The truth is...settling was never an option.
Kebahagiaan itu sederhana. Gue bangun pagi liat nyokap juga bahagia kok. Tapi yang membedakan itu, seberapa mampu kita berbagi kebahagiaan itu, sebanyak apa, dengan orang lain. I simply want more.

And what surprised me, I cannot believe how much support I get from so many people!
Dari bantu cari tiket, bantu cari tempat tinggal, bantu ngomong ke profesor atau direktor sekolah musik, bantu latihan, sampai bantuan2 moril yang ga terhitung banyaknya...gue bener2 terharu! Thank you, semua...gue punya support system yang luar biasa banget. Gue akan melakukan yang terbaik. Tapi apapun hasilnya, gue ga akan pernah menyesali ini.

I am happy because I keep true to myself, I finally stick out to something I love and fight for it. Whatever the result would be, I am already a winner.

Greetings from Vienna. :))

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Singapore Express

I am a huge fan of King' s Singers.
Begitu denger mereka akan konser di Singapore, I couldn't help it, gue harus nonton. Dalam tempo sesingkat-singkatmya gue pun mengatur kepergian gue ke Singapore yang cukup nekad, karena setelah nonton mereka, gue harus pulang ke Jakarta subuhnya, krn sorenya gue sendiri pun punya konser.

I have been familiar with Singapore. Karena dulu sempet bolak-balik waktu kakak gue berobat, gue sama sekali ga takut atau khawatir pergi sendirian ke sana. Ok, gue putuskan untuk berangkat Jumat siang, langsung nonton Wicked (mumpung ke sana), besoknya jalan-jalan, trus malemnya nonton King's Singers, trus besok paginya pulang.

Tibalah hari yang dinanti. Wait. My flight is delayed. DELAYED. Padahal gue cuma punya waktu sekitar 2 jam untuk mencapai Marina Bay Sands, yang belum pernah gue datengin juga. Bener aja, sampe jam 7 gue masih berkutat ngurus imigrasi dan beli nomer telpon, padahal pertunjukan mulai jam 7.30! Akhirnya gue baru bisa masuk dan nonton jam 8.10, itupun dengan membawa segala koper dan dengan perut sangat lapar...T___T

Petualangan belum berakhir. Selesai nonton, gue naik taksi ke hostel yang gue pilih dan book lewat internet. It's a very nice hostel named Five Stones Hostel, lokasinya di Clark Quay, nggak jauh dari mall Central. Gue udah kirim email bahwa gue akan check-in di atas jam 10 PM, tapi nggak tau bahwa hidup gue bakal jadi semacam Mission Impossible.

So, saat masuk gedung hostelnya yang berupa ruko, cuma ada sebuah pintu dan sebuah lift. Seperti hostel lainnya, resepsionisnya ada di lantai 2. Pas masuk lift, ada tulisan; "dear Clarentia, please use the emergency stairs beside the elevator." Okaaay. Gue keluar lift, dan memandang pintu besar di samping. Dengan agak deg-degan gue naik. Sampai lantai 2, yang gue temukan adalah sebuah pintu, sebuah mesin kayak untuk pin, dan bel. Setelah beberapa kali membunyikan bel dan ga ada yang bukain, baru sadar di pintu ada tulisan lagi, "If you check in after 10 PM please call this number". Di bawahnya ada 2 nomer telpon. Masalahnya, Blackberry gue low-bat. Udah merah. Dikit lagi dia akan mati suri. Ok, sambil komat-kamit berdoa, gue dial nomer pertama...

"Sorry, I am taking my maternity leave..."
Terus kenapa ditaro nomernya di situuuu??!
Makin deg-degan. Udah lewat jam 12, dan batere gue mulai kedip-kedip tanda sekarat.
Dial nomer kedua. Nggak diangkat. Dial lagi. Akhirnya diangkat!
"Hello, I want to check in..."
-lalu dia minta data dulu-
"Okay, see your left side, there will be a mailbox..."
Kotak surat. Dari tadi kayaknya gue ga liat. Ah, ini dia!
"The box is locked, please insert this number...1-2-0..."
Masukin nomernya. Kebuka beneran!
"Inside you will find a key attached to a card with your name on it. Use the card to open the door, use the key to your room and to use the elevator."

Bener aja. Ada kunci dan kartu dengan nama gue. Akhirnya gue berhasil masuk, tanpa drama lanjutan. It is a very nice hostel, bersih, aman, dan gue suka karena ada kamar khusus perempuan. Di tiap tempat tidurnya, biarpun yang tingkat atas, ada lampu baca dan colokan. Langsung charge BB, buka peta Singapore untuk jalan-jalan besok, dan tidur.

Besoknya terbangun dengan perut lapar, langsung makan bakutteh di Song Fa, restoran Cina di pojokan seberang Central. Enak banget, tapi ya nggak bisa dibilang murah. Seporsi tambah nasi dan minum jadi 7 SGD. Jalan ke Raffles City, Marina Bay, makan es krim sedollar dan berhenti di Esplanade. Siap untuk nonton my favorite acapella group EVER.

For the concert, I can tell you that we all should just hail to the King's Singers.
Mereka adalah grup acapella dari Inggris yang udah berdiri lama sekali, anggotanya terus diregenerasi kalo ada yang pensiun. They are highly educated, charismatic, and entertaining. The six gentlemen, consists of 2 countertenor, 1 tenor, 2 baritones, and 1 bass, provides us the time of our lives with selections of Christmas songs from folksongs to Baroque to popular songs. Maintaining the world-class performance from beginning to the very end, I found myself breathless during the entire show, and nearly faint when I got the chance to participate in the book signing, greeted by the gentlemen personally and very warmly.

Ddmikianlah, besoknya MRT lagi agak error, sehingga gue naik taksi ke bandara dan terbang ke Jakarta untuk nyanyi di konser jam 5 sorenya.

It's funny how special the trip was in such a short time.
See you soon, Singapore.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Dubai International Airport

Ok, so everybody’s talking about how big and awesome the airport is.

Guess what, maybe they were just LUCKY.

After spending 2 consecutive months in the land of order, Germany, I had to go home and therefore took one of the Emirates flight and transit in Dubai. In minutes, I already become myself again; THE MISS COMPLAIN.

1 1. The information was thoroughly unclear. It was not stated clearly, where the passengers should go. Well, I was not really aware too, considering I did not sleep at all during the flight from München to Dubai. Partly my fault, but it still pissed me off because I took the wrong direction and ended up in the Passport check for entering Dubai.


2. The service was awfully ugly. I consider the people unwillingly do the service. For example, the man in the service counter answered my questions while taking a phone call. And I mean personal phone call, with his cell phone! The people who should take control of the queues were also rude and they scream to each other.

3. 3.

The airport was terribly crowded. I instantly recall my experience walking in the middle of Mall Kelapa Gading. The alley was narrow, too many people, and I couldn’t even sip my vanilla latte without being hit. Don’t even think about getting some sleep if you don’t have the access to the VIP lounges. The chairs were occupied, and some ugly smelly people slept recklessly on the floor(which ironically, I think come from Indonesia – some sort of maids sent abroad).

4. 4.

Frankly speaking, the airport is aesthetically not so pretty as well. After some desperate time, I decided to sit on a cozy corner of Häagen-Dazs, which was one of the few places where the space is normally arranged. The only view I got was a superficial garden in the middle of nowhere. After spending so many times reading books in the state gardens of Germany, of course this view annoyed me. I am not trying to be arrogant, but just look how it seems:

5. 5.

As I sat and ate my ice cream, suddenly an alarm rang. An alarm! As in, it was HURTING MY EARS, and nobody seemed to care! There was no security whatsoever. I decided to finish my delicious strawberry summer berry ice cream early and leave the place.

So now I am sitting on the floor, charging my laptop to an LG charging station. And one of those uneducated TKI played dangdut music. LOUDLY. In the middle of the room, in which so many people are asleep. After I finish writing this, I would definitely make a scene with this stupid woman.

And I thought I would save my anger until I reach Jakarta…

Oh well.

Pasang muka manis.


“Mbak, mbak…boleh tolong…………..”