I have found a perfect place to live, in an elite district, with the great surroundings and easy access, and near the place I babysit.
Yupp, I am lucky enough to find a little job by babysitting a sweet 5-year-old for some time now.
Everybody who knows me would scream or laugh, because they know, I am not great with kids. I used to resent kids so much that I would just stare to those who make extremely loud noises or run around without any purpose.
I did find it difficult to connect with children, which is why I always avoid teaching children back then in Indonesia. I always find it hard to communicate with them, trying to get along or to talk with them, like there is a wall of bricks I cannot and I would not crash down. When I was finally trusted to teach some children, they are mostly over 8-years-old, which means they are mostly easier to communicate with, it is much easier to tell them what to do or not to do, and they are already capable of reasoning.
But 5-years-old? I never had such experience playing with one, moreover to taking care of one. But one of my best friends who used to be a Kindergarten teacher told me; always believe that you are capable, when you are dealing with kids. Not only it will make you feel better, but also it will somehow connects with the kid you are taking care of. Believe it or not; it is true.
The first few meetings were difficult, she talked to me, but mostly she will look away and want to play with a gadget, and never ask me to stay and play something with her. I was supposed to speak in English, but she always replies in German. And I said to myself, maybe this is not my kind of thing. Maybe I am just not right for this. Until she had chickenpox.
Her mother has no choice, she has to hire me because she has to work and the child has to stay at home. The main babysitter was not available at all. I was thinking to turn down this offer, but then I gave it a try. I need a job for summer, anyway.
I asked my friend, what to do, what to say, what will make this child comfortable having me around. Then after discussing for a while, we found out that children smell fear or negative feelings. So if I believe that I would not make her comfortable, she would feel uncomfortable. I have been wondering if her attitude affects me or the other way around. So then I came, trying to fill myself with all the positivity and smile and energy to take care of her for about 4 hours (which, for me, was a great deal of time).
And somehow, after we draw things and dance and eat and tell stories, she becomes so sweet. I was surprised that she wants to play with me all the days after, and even gives signs of affection toward me.
The crazy thing is, she also became my teacher. She patiently teaches me German, while I teach her English. She shows me how to be creative and focus on things that make us happy instead of wondering about people's minds. She teaches me about trust; she never lies to her mother and if we are about to eat something she would ask me to ask her mom, and if she tells me something from her mom, she would really appreciate if I do not ask her mom to confirm. She also teaches me to dance, one of the things I hate, we would dance (the dance is really ugly), just keep moving our bodies without any intention to be pretty, and forget about the rest of the world. She guides me patiently to enter her world, a world free from prejudice and fear that I constantly deal with for the last few years.
I am so grateful that in a few months I get to experience so much joy and affection from so many people, and have already learned so much.
I am so excited for the upcoming years to come! :)